Feedback please

Rich Nelson · Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006, 01:21 (GMT) Post subject: Feedback please

I am revising my demos and would like some feedback on what needs to be revised...Thank you!!!

www.richnelson.voice123.com

Robert Jadah · Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006, 01:56 (GMT) Post subject: If I Were a Rich, man

Rich:
As requested, took a hear to your demos. Thought the BILLBOARD one was the most you; the others sounded a bit contrived. To my humble ears, you sound like you're swallowing the mic a bit....smothering the text. Maybe move back to a nice 6-8 inch range and tweak the Input.
Whatcha using as equipment?
Nice tone, though; but I suggest adding to some of your demos a little background flash: music, F/X, the like.
Casual listeners will rarely stick around for just the nice pipes....
You may also want to practice with narration a bit. Just read 2 minutes of any old book lying around and then replay critically. 'Cuz you need to spark the parts a mite....
Hang in,
Robert Jadah

Scott Pollak · Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006, 03:46 (GMT) Post subject:

First of all, thanks for taking the time to review my demo and respond. I appreciate that.

I gave a quick listen to your demos and I think you need to put a bit more work into them, Rich. I agree with Robert's assessment that it sounds like you're swallowing the mike. All of the demos have a very muffled quality to them.

I'd suggest taking each demo and working it into a really dynamic montage, showcasing various levels of energy and emphasis WITHIN each category. For example, within your "business presentations" demo, have several various short snippets. Fully produce them, with some nice trax behind them (as Robert said, most people won't listen very long to a plain dry demo). The production level of what you have out there right now will be hard-pressed to stand up to the level of the real pros on this site.

You have a unique voice and that can work to your benefit, but as I listened to all of the demos, there were two things that struck me that I think you might want to work on:
- You sound pretty much the same on every read. I noticed no range, no variance, no change in pacing, energy, or delivery. If I were a client I'd have to assume you have one style and level of delivery only and if it wasn't exactly what I was looking for I'd probably pass you over.
- There was no emotional connectivity in the reads. It sounded like, well, reads. I didn't believe you cared about what you were telling me about. That's hard to do, but it's what gets ya hired out here.

Please take my honest assessments with the constructive spirit in which they're offered. You have a good basis for getting started, but still have some work to do.

All the best.

Connie Terwilliger · Posted: Fri Nov 03, 2006, 04:06 (GMT) Post subject:

My recommendation would be for you to spend some time listening to other demos. You need to have a better idea of what a professional demo is all about. There are tons of great demos here on V123. Some of the demos that have been posted on this forum are wonderful.

The other comments apply as well. The muffled sound, the contrived nature of the copy, the sameness of the reads. The demos you have posted here are not doing you any favors.

You need to have a better baseline understanding of your voice and skill level so that you can find your niche. This takes time listening to what is out there. Recording and listening to your sound and general delivery. And it also takes some training.