Demo from the newbie. Do your worst... :)

Alan Simmons

To quote a famous guy, "Lend me your ears"...

Scott Pollak · Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006, 18:15 (GMT) Post subject:

Hey Alan...

You'll need more than just one read of one single topic on your demo. Think about a demo with perhaps 4-6 various reads of different energies, styles, subject matter, etc. Otherwise if a potential client isn't looking for EXACTLY this one single style in your existing demo, you'll get passed over.

Next, your voice has a basically pleasing quality, but in your demo it almost sounded to me like you were trying to read a bit below your bottom comfort zone, as if you were trying to make your voice sound deeper than it really is. Perhaps not, but I heard a bit of bottom-end straining there. Subtle, but it's there.

Your read sounded like, well... a read. No real connectivity with either the listener or the subject matter. Anyone can read copy, and a ton of people can read it well. The people that get the jobs are the ones that can breathe LIFE into a script and that's hard to do.

I'm attaching one of my demos as an example of variance, pacing, and showcasing different styles. I hope it helps.

Please take my critique in the manner in which it's offered... as a helpful starting point, which is where your demo is... it's a start, but it needs a lot of work before it'll get you any jobs.

Thanks, and best of luck!

Vincent Jones · Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006, 19:36 (GMT) Post subject: Nice start

Hi Alan, your demo I found to be good, for what it was selling the music and sound of your voice was great togather. The only thing I can think of is that in a demo you should have a few reads in it, and have it so you can use differnt tones as well.

Vincen

Robert Jadah · Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006, 20:31 (GMT) Post subject: Pick 'er Up, Al!

Alan:
Lent an ear and half a brain to your demo, and thought the music and production were pretty darn good.
But you gotta goose the delivery...
You sounded overmuch like a volunteer librarian reading to an inattentive audience. And lest I sound too Simon Cowell-ish, let me add that the voice is melodic and promising.
My suggestion would be to pick up the pace and convey either enthusiasm, wonder, or style.
Something, though.
Hang in, man.
Together in Voicing,
Robert Jadah

Alan Simmons · Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006, 21:15 (GMT) Post subject: Well, that wasn't too bad...

Well, I'm pumped. I had put together some admittedly cheesy demos back in March/April with a computer mic and Audacity software. I've since acquired some new equipment (this demo was done on the new gear) and was hoping I hadn't wasted my money. So as I read your responses I'm scribbling furiously. Here's what I'm picking up...

1. I need 4-6 reads in various styles and energy levels. Keep that under 60 seconds, I presume?

2. Stop trying to make my voice sound deeper than it really is (you nailed it, Scott - that's exactly what I was doing). Read in the "comfort zone". I gotta find that first...

3. Don't just read the copy. Vary tones and energy, incorporate emotion and style that is appropriate and fitting.

I can't thank you guys enough. This is exactly what I need. And when I get home from work, it's back into the studio...

Thanks again!

~Alan

Paxton Greene · Posted: Wed Nov 01, 2006, 23:38 (GMT) Post subject:

alan!

fantastic soothing voice. yes, mix it up with your demo. yes, put some life into that read. it may sound goofy, but if you ever watch hgtv with guys like chris harrison who narrate "buying homes", "outdoor garden", or what not take notes on how they use inflections to sell or make the thing they are talking about sound AWESOME. I mean those guys can make a garbage dump sound like it's a Malibu dream pad. best to ya man!

pax