Ad copy designed to attract, (or REPEL) buyers?

Maxine Dunn · **Voice Talent** Joined: 25 Apr 2004 Posts: 675

Here's some copy from a public lead I saw today. Can you say, "The quick, easy way to turn off (the vast majority of) female buyers?" (I thought ad copy was supposed to attract buyers.)

Really had to wonder if this is a pro copywriter writing this stuff. (Complete with stripper music! The favorite of all women! The commercial apparently starts with a pic of a "dancer" and ends with a shot of a woman's a-s in jeans, with money sticking out of her back pocket.)

Hope if works for them, but I was amused at the idea that someone thought this would be attractive to a large audience of home-buyers.

"Script sent by the voice seeker:

STRIPPER MUSIC UP AND UNDER

SEXY FEMALE V.O. NOT TYPICAL ANNCR VOICE

We’re taking it off …

We're taking a lot off... thousands of dollars off home prices during * * * clearance event.
You’ll find pre-construction prices from the high One-hundreds to be a beautiful opportunity to build your dream. Hot prices … gorgeous homes … * * * * Plus, we pay three percent of your closing costs AND fifty percent of your * * * *

(MUSIC STOPS)

More money in YOUR pocket.

(MUSIC BANGS UP — BAM!)

Feeling tingly all over? Us too. ****************. Call today"

Tingly all over? There's well-written inuendo and then there's eeewwww....

.

Claire Dodin · **Voice Talent** Joined: 16 Aug 2005 Posts: 400

he, he! Got this one too! Guess what I did?: delete
well, the fixed budget wasn't exactly worth the custom audition, to be fair I didn't even read the whole thing until I saw your post. Double reason for delete!

Scott Pollak · Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008, 00:10 (GMT) Post subject:

Okay, let me play J.S. Gilbert before he does it here....

Max, I can understand totally where you're coming from. But the truth is, men - especially white males - have been the butt of any and all advertising jokes for decades now. Think about every 'slice of life' scenario between hubby and wife. The guy is always a blooming idiot. It's just how it is.

On one hand, I like the different approach here. This would work well for a car commercial. It's wildly different from any other home sales ad I've heard in my life. If I were driving down the road it would certainly catch my attention, and since probably about 50% or so of home purchasers are males, it's going to get their attention. And even the ladies... you may not like it, but you'll REMEMBER it! I'll bet you read that copy ONCE and you can tell me what it's for. That's the test of an effective ad: Not whether you like it, but whether you REMEMBER it.

I'd say we all pretty much hate Billy Mays on tv, but when he's selling something, we remember it.

While this copy tiptoes on the border of being sexist, it breaks new ground in terms of innovation and I can't fault that.

Sid Whatley · Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008, 00:18 (GMT) Post subject:

You're right Scott. It WOULD make a good car spot. I've probably produced 10 using almost the same copy in the last 20yrs. But at least I wasn't the writer.

Diane Havens · **Voice Talent** Joined: 09 Jun 2006 Posts: 1281

Here's one I just love!! You can't take ads seriously -- but some are done with wit, and others, none. Gotta remember this "offensive" one...

(edited per Max's note: try this one)

Maxine Dunn · **Voice Talent** Joined: 25 Apr 2004 Posts: 675

Hahah Claire - I hit delete too. Too funny!

Let's just think for a moment though if it were male strippers they were talking about. How different the t.v. commercial would be if there was a Chippendale's guy starting off the ad in some break-away pants, then a close-up pic of his as- with money hanging out of the pocket of his jeans at the end. Hmmm...

And Scott, I get your point, however if you look at the statistics, there are a lot more single women buying homes than single men. And even married couples....women wield a LOT of power of how the money gets spent, even if it’s their husband’s money they’re spending.

And I'm not sure about "remembering" the seller. People would be so busy reacting to the sexy dance at the beginning, the stereotypical music, and the ass at the end, that I doubt they'd remember the development. In fact, I read the copy/lead twice, copied and pasted it into my post, and took the time to * * * out the client's information, and I have no recollection of what the company's name was.

It was THAT memorable....

That said, I did an insanely sultry, Penthouse-style on-camera and voice-over promo for a t.v. station in town years ago about how "Sex Sells," (it does!), and have spent my fair share of time in strip clubs, so I'm obviously not one to talk!

I just thought the lead was so cheesy, it was worth poking a little fun! And you’re right, even if you don’t “buy” they can be memorable to watch! (Diane, your video post comes up as no longer available. Can you get a different url for it?)

And Sid, post one of yours! It'd be fun to hear it.

Xoxo

J.S. Gilbert · Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008, 03:14 (GMT) Post subject: Let me be J.S. Gilbert

Okay, my ears were burning for some reason. So to be quite frasnk what I object to here more than anything else is not the objectification of woman, but the fact that the spot is typically hard sell and fairly poorly written. One would like to htink that homebuyers are interested in neighborhoods, schools, proximity to services, safety, warranties and ratings, construction and all the other things that go hand-in-hand with somebody making what for most is the number one most expensive decision of their life.

While this commercial may get your attention Scott, I wonder if you are the target audience for this. Would this sales message motivate you to investigate these homes for sale?

Now if they were trulky commited to the theme and offered prospective buyers theri chioice of a major appliance or installed stripper pole, that might actually be funny and even get them some press.

No, they weren't serious about the concpet and they used this the same way guy blows one of those air horns at a football game.

In a recent pitch meeting, I was obsessed with discussing to the client the demographics of their intended target audience and kept talking about how our message speaks to the buyers core values. At which point the marketing director for my client said "Yes, but this is also a luxury purchase so we must always be guided by that principal".

Perhaps the copy should read "If you're a single woman over the age of 40, your best chance for landing a husband would be to buy one of our homes. Woman with a dowry are always more attractive.

Or "Men, if you want to get laid more often, buy one of our houses cause theirs nothing like a property ownere to get them women drooling."

Oh forget it, just start the spot with a nice loud air horn.

Scott Pollak · Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008, 04:07 (GMT) Post subject:

There's been a bit of discussion on this thread about the target audience. Maxine said "a lot more" of home buyers are now women. (I'd like to see those stats, BTW) J.S. asked if I might be the intended target of this homebuilder.

The answers to both of these would be a resounding: Perhaps.

We don't know enough about these homes, the location, the intended audience, etc., to pass judgment, I think.

Let's say the target audience is middle-aged, extremely comfortable well-established males who are in the upper 10% of the income bracket and these homes are top-tier. Would this ad be appropriate?
Probably not.

Now let's say the builder is targeting first-time homeowners who currently rent and think they can't afford to buy. Additionally, it's in a depressed market (easy to imagine right now, especially since so many builders are going belly up). Let's say the homes, or condos, or townhomes, they're selling tend to be bought by young single males in their early 20's, with lower incomes. Then perhaps this ad would be highly effective.

I'm just sayin', y'know..........................?
Wink

Allison Scussel · **Voice Talent** Joined: 25 Apr 2007 Posts: 928

An opinion from a single female and home owner:

The copy/ concept does not appeal to me in the least. I totally understand why Max created this post in the first place.

The creativity of the spot (and it's lacking creative juices) would work if the client was selling a car, or some other item that wasn't a life-time investment.

A home is a sanctuary. Whether you're a single female, male, or young married couple, buying a home is serious business that shouldn't be affiliated with strip tease music. Everyone who buys a home wants to be in a safe neighborhood.

Scott, I understand your POV. Even with the market being as depressed as it is, there are other ways this campaign could get its point across. I just don't see where this particular copy would work for the client.

Wink

Ally

Lee Gordon · **Voice Talent** Joined: 22 Oct 2004 Posts: 1549

I have to agree with JS. As my late father used to say, "There are two ways to do something: assed, and half-assed." And this spot is definitely half-assed. The problem isn't anything more complicated than some hack who thought he had a clever idea, didn't. Maybe he was trying to capture the magic of the old Noxzema Shave Cream commercials from the 1960s with Swedish model Gunilla Knutson imploring men to "Take it off; take it all off."

Or maybe he wasn't familiar with that old ad and just thought he was being clever. He thought he was; we know he wasn't.
Based on the copy I see on a daily basis, there are a lot of clueless copywriters out there. I guess it makes sense. If there are so many leads out there offering $50 for a voice over, imagine how little the same people are paying to have these "masterpieces" created.

September Day Leach · **Voice Talent** Joined: 31 Aug 2005 Posts: 1526

For what it's worth...and that ain't much Wink

, we ARE all here talking about this ad and no others this week. Maybe it's so bad, it's good? I see a lot of commercials that I hate...and then my friends and I sit around and talk about how much we hate them, all the while drilling the company's name further and further into our brains. Case in point:

and I LOATHE the music in this one, but it's catchy as hell.

my point is, if THEIR point is to get people talking, they might just succeed. Not that I wouldn't prefer doing a great commercial instead of an okay one, but from a marketing stand point, this commercial might do well for them.
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Sid Whatley · Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008, 13:53 (GMT) Post subject:

As a former partner in a national ad agency going to early morning creative sessions, I can tell ya that SERIOUS thought, consultation, research, auditions and weeks of work go into producing those silly (stupid) ads. They just don't "happen". Every bit of copy, movement, camera angle, lighting, voiceover and music composition (my dept) is carefully & meticulously created. THEN.....everyone just waits and prays it pays off. Sometimes it catches on....other times it's a flop and no explanation for either result. "Don't worry folks, we'll pick up a NEW account to replace this one".

J.S. Gilbert · Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008, 14:30 (GMT) Post subject: Talk is good?

So becuase we are discussing this particular spot, it's a good thing? It would seem to me that there are people talking everyday about Adolph Hitler and the Holocaust. A good thing?

Remember the cry of the Holocaust survivors is "Never Again".

Unfortunately for many in the advertising biz, rebounding from a terrible campaign simply means moving to another agency or as Sid says picking up a new account.

Most advertising isn't bad or good, it simply serves a function. I have also seen my share of award winning ads that did absolutely nothing to put a red cent in the client's purse. So, it would seem that there are differnt criteria for what might constitute a good or bad ad. Head On, Apply directly to the forehaed hekped push that product in a closely competitive market to a very high position. Good or bad advertising?

Unfortunately, the ad we are discussing will not result in any interest or sales for the client and is a waste of expensive radio or tv media.

As someone who spends more than enough time and money with the bean counters and analytics people I can think of no time when this type of advertising should be employed to sell a home and as someone who writes and produces commercials for car dealers, I am offended by the thought of its use in that market either.

It doesn't serve to shock, nor particularly entertain. If it is intended to reach the "jack ass - the movie" viewing demographic, then it simply doesn't go far enough. It fails to deliver on any promise and fails to create compelling reasons to check out the property, aside from the obvious financial inducements it makes. Said inducements would benefit from having a better vehicle to present them.

BY any stretch of the imagination, this is "bad" advertising.

Diane Havens · **Voice Talent** Joined: 09 Jun 2006 Posts: 1281

I totally agree with J. S. Bad ad all around.

I don't know if the Sumo Wrestlers sold Subarus (that WAS the car they were selling, right?) or the puppet woman or dancing man made folks flock to Six Flaggs, but they were both entertaining at least.

It was YEARS before I bought Charmin toilet paper -- I couldn't get over the insulting "please don't squeeze the Charmin" ads from long ago. It's perfectly good toilet paper, by the way. Or "ring around the collar" for Wisk -- hated that one. I PURPOSELY avoided those perfectly good products because I found their ads silly and moronic, and I didn't want to support or associate with them.

Association is very important in advertising. You want to be part of that "club" created by the brand -- or you DON'T.

September Day Leach · **Voice Talent** Joined: 31 Aug 2005 Posts: 1526

well, again, I see where everyone is coming from. Mostly, I was drawing from the "any publicity=good publicity" policy. It's a small market commercial, most likely funded by the contracting company who is building the community and we've all seen what that stereotype is. Just a guy trying to be edgy and tongue-in-cheek. A good deal of my work falls in the sexy category, so maybe I'm just used to seeing this kind of copy (and a lot, a lot, A LOT worse). And really, it's more the images that will be used in the ad that I would question. The copy as a radio ad doesn't really bother me.