I need a demo critique

Kelly Richards · **Voice Talent** Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 2

I took a professional course, which cost quite a bit of $$, and had 2 demos made from it last August. So far, I have not had one offer. ** Keep in mind, I am not too impressed with my demos. For the amount of money I paid, I feel they did not showcase my abilities nor talent at all.

I will take any advice, especially a cheaper way on how to record another demo!!

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008, 01:34 (GMT) Post subject:

Welcome, Kelly. I think you have a great deal more work to do before scoring many gigs in VO.

Here are a few quick things I noticed:

You sound like you're reading to a child. It should sound like you're speaking...naturally. You break sentences into phrases that don't have motivation (probably due to poor breath control) and it gives, again, an unnatural sound to your delivery. Your unvoiced "th" (as in "thirty") has a wet sound to it that is distracting and you're pushing so hard that you run out of breath at the end of your sentences and get that unintended crackle in your voice. Finally, there's a bad children's performer vibe to your reads that won't play because it sounds like you're talking to children. Which mostly, you won't be in narratives and advertising.

I know that sounds harsh, and this is just one person's opinion, and it could just be the way you were produced for the demo, but I would look at studying and practicing more before I worried about a new demo or when I was going to start making money.

I wish you all the best. And stick around here...there are many more who can offer much more expertise.

Tom Pagnotti · **Voice Talent** Joined: 18 Jul 2007 Posts: 220

Hello Kelly:

Melba makes some excellent point. Trust her guidance; she’s one the very best at what she does.

If you want great examples of what it takes to be competitive in this field you needn’t look any further than some of the demos you can find here at V123.

Listen to the work of September Day Leach, Diane Havens, Caryn Clark and Melba. Each is a little different in their talent but each has a solid presentation and reputation.

Don’t give up. Listen to the pros around you. Their advice (and conversations between one another) will be invaluable.

Good luck.

Caryn Clark · **Voice Talent** Joined: 27 Mar 2005 Posts: 1000

Why thank you Tom... I'm honored to be held in such esteem. Smile

Melba touched upon a lot of good points. I agree... you break up each sentence in much the same way, when in fact in conversation you would never speak that way, right? Listen back and I think you'll see what we're talking about.

I know nothing about the folks that coached you and produced your demo. However, I would hope they would know that your commercial demo shouldn't be longer than a minute... yours is 1:30. Also, you have some character-type voices in your commercial demo, and it's really not the place for them. At least the first couple of reads should be YOU, your normal voice (as I recall, I didn't hear YOUR voice until the "it's not easy being green" spot... I think that was the one).

Listen to demos from Atlas Talent and TGMD and William Morris... you can find them on voicebank.net. Using your voice (not trying to mimic someone), that's what you need to sound like.

Oh, and to answer your question - a cheaper way to re-record... well, I don't know. I tend to believe you generally get what you pay for. I think you should research coaches and demo producers, and find one you really gel with.

Break a lip!

Scott Pollak · Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2008, 04:11 (GMT) Post subject:

Boy, I had to do a double-take when I first saw this posting. I worked in radio for a while with a lady who at one time was known as Kelli Richards on the air. She was actually the country music female dj of the year many years ago. But alas, different Kelli/Kelly.

Kelly, I gotta agree with the others. You have potential, but you're not there yet.

The quite-famous, very modest, and extremely helpful Bob Bergen is quick to point out that one should run fast and furiously away from any v/o coach whose goal is to get a demo made for you. Demos are the last rung on the ladder as we work our way up through the training, the rejection, the auditions, more training, practice, workshops, etc. until we're finally ready to post something that will make us shine.

To my ears, these sound like the works of someone who has just come out of their first round of v/o classes. I can hear the life and energy in there, but there's just way too much going wrong. Besides the things that Melba and Caryn so aptly pointed out, I hear a very forced delivery, an often very strange accent (I had to work very hard to downplay my Southern lilt), the weird emphasis that Melba mentioned (for example, the glue bit in the commercial demo;"will dis-uh-pear KOM-pletely"). Very odd emphasis, very unnatural and forced. I, too, hear the strain on your voice, occasional wavering as you run out of steam or just stretch a tad beyond your comfort level.

What I DO get out of this is the potential for a very good comedian's delivery. And that's a compliment, not a put-down. I kept thinking of people like Carol Burnett and even the queen, Lucille Ball, and Roseanne Barr when I listened. You have such playfulness and abandon in your voice that you COULD - with training and practice - do some really cool quirky stuff. Your voice really isn't made for the serious stuff or esoteric stuff. But find your niche and get a lot of help getting there and you could make it happen.

Hope all this helps and I look forward to hearing more out of you.

David Bosco · **Voice Talent** Joined: 06 Sep 2007 Posts: 281

Kelly,

The suggestions you have received thus far should be helpful. I can add only two things.

I'm willing to bet that most voice talents, myself included, have done just the same as you. Like you, I made demos earlier than I should have. Although the cost was a bit on the high side and the results were (in retrospect) less than satisfactory, I don't totally regret the move. It was a start. Everyone eventually comes to "If I knew then what I know now!" Fortunatley, I've been able to rework my demos at home using bits of what seemed to work well on auditons here at V123 and with helpful critique of many others. It's an on-going process.

Others noted that your delivery is stiff and unnatural in places on your demo. One way to beat this is to record yourself having a nautral conversation with another person, unscripted of course (Use a small hand-held digital recorder, recording quality is not the issue here) Don't act, don't project, just talk as you normally do. You'll be amazed at the vast difference between the voice on the demo and your real voice. For most applications, something very close to your true, natural voice is what's needed although tailored to the subject matter. The pros make it sound easy, but it's not. Takes practice, lots of it.

By the way, if anyone thinks my last suggestion is not a good idea, I'd like to know why. No arguments, just your thoughts.

Good luck Kelly! Stick with it.

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2008, 18:35 (GMT) Post subject:

David,
I think your suggestion is a good one for most people. If for no other reason, than to know how you really sound and how to bring that personality into your vo....for, as has been so rightly pointed out by others, the voice you're selling is an extension of your personality.

Interestingly, I'm a completely visual thinker, so my mind works much faster than my ability to communicate extemporaneously and I sometimes suffer a perceptual disorientation when speaking, leading to stammering, stuttering and lots of pauses and shifts, not unlike the unnatural phrasing pointed out in the demo above. Most people who have the same way of thinking will manifest with dyslexia, digraphia or discalculia. I guess my manifestation would be termed dyslinguia. Ironically, reading aloud, and ultimately, acting, was what I discovered to overcome the difficulty since it forced intense concentration and reigning my mind's eye into what I could physically see in front of my on paper. That's why people who know me (but not well) in the real world are dumbstruck at what I do for a living because when I speak I often sound like an idiot. Laughing

Sorry...OT...but thought I'd share that. I believe this is more common than people know. And the point is, that what looks like a difficulty you can't surmount, can ultimately become your bread and butter.

And Kelly, since this is your topic, I would concur with Scott, that you have a great deal of personality in your voice. Be encouraged. Work from there and hear the possibilities.

Kelly Richards · **Voice Talent** Joined: 19 Apr 2007 Posts: 2

So far, I have no problems with what all of you have suggested. I usually take criticism well.... Very Happy

I am very open, willing to learn, and willing to do what it takes. I am a patient person.

I fully understand what is being said about those demos not sounding natural, and agree. It's frustrating. I appreciate the comments about Lucille Ball, etc. - I'd like my humor to come out in one or two demos at some point!

Two thoughts/questions: is it alright to re-record some of the material from those demos separately and use them as extra demos on here? Also, when I get the chance (which is more often than people think because of the freedom of my regular job!), I do read different materials outloud. To myself. I usually just read in my voice, but try different voices every once in a while. Any other advice on how to practice?

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008, 00:16 (GMT) Post subject: Re: my comments

Kelly, you've got a great attitude -- willingness to learn and patience -- I think you said. This puts you way ahead of many folks. Good for you.

As to your questions -- re: "re-record some of the material.." Carefully edited down versions of what you have to cover some of the difficulties isn't the cure-all in terms of becoming better, but it would present you better.

And reading aloud is certainly the thing you should be doing as much as possible, trying lots of different sounds. But also be doing lots of listening. Go to voicebank and listen to as many agency demos as you can. Listen to national spots on TV. Listen to narrations on the History Channel. Inundate yourself with as much listening as you do reading aloud. Not to mimic anyone, but to give you a guide as to how it's done. I would also suggest your next "lessons" be basic singing, in order to learn better breath control. You'll be amazed at how it helps.

Just my $.02. Sure there are lots others with more to say. Best of luck!