Critique on Demo Please!!! before i shorten it!

Anthony Williams · **Voice Talent** Joined: 24 Oct 2006 Posts: 663

i need several of you to listen to this market research demo and give me feedback . i'm not concerned about length because i will cut it down to a minute or so . please listen to content

Thanks

Robert Jadah · **Voice Talent** Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 2627

Welcome to the bazzaar, Anthony.
It's difficult to comment on your demo, cause it just doesn't sound like a demo. I mean, there's no real production to the puppy...it's you talking rather nicely into a mic for too long a time.
Add some background, some f/x, some variation, some life...something -please - to listen to. The hint is there. The promise is there. But ask any prospective partner; they want delivery.
I started it three times, and got no further than 20 seconds into it....thinking "right; heard him...that's Anthony...ho-hum"...before clicking off.
If you don't have the hardware, find someone who does. Go to a studio.
Make a real deal.
You've got the stuff. Now get a shot.
Voice On!Robert Jadah

Joe J Thomas · **Voice Talent** Joined: 16 Nov 2004 Posts: 1521

Anthony,

I'd have to agree with Robert. You'll need a bit of variety in your demo. Each spot should be easy to tell apart from the next. A change in voice, attitude, music, effects, etc. If you can't spring for a "produced" demo, that's fine. But choose some ad copy and tailor your character to it. Then move on to a different spot, and so on.

A good source of copy is magazine ads. Movie scripts can be useful too as source texts.

One bit of constructive feedback that I was given early on may also apply to your vocal range. I feel like your voice is "artificially low". I suspect your true range is a bit higher than on this demo. A lot of guys try for that James Earl Jones sound, but you gotta have the right pipes to pull that off. And it's not needed to be a good VA... Just ask Tom Kenny!

Hope this helps,
Joe J Thomas
www.JoeActor.com

Scott Pollak · Posted: Sat Dec 23, 2006, 20:43 (GMT) Post subject:

Anthony,

I hesitated a long while before deciding to respond to this audio clip. And then, before I did, I went back and found your other posting from a while back to see what my critique had said, and quite honestly, after reading it, the same thing still applies. Here's what I posted before, and it's still true here (with a bit of editing):

You have great tonal quality in your voice, a warm, rich, silky deep voice that could hypnotize a kid with ADD. Your demo, however, needs quite a bit of work.

For starters: audio quality: not good. Distorted at points, at other times it sounds like you're distant from the mike and in a highly reflective room. The quality is quite simply not up to professional levels.

Next, the delivery. As I said in my first critique, it sounds like you're going for sultry and sexy, but honestly, it comes across as druggy and sleepy. It's too slow and monotone. Even being a late night sultry sexy read, it still has to breathe and have SOME amount of life in it. There are natural spots in the script that will elicit emphasis. Different points should get a change of pace. The delivery matched the ticking of the clock behind you (which I found a bit distracting) and became too rhythmic.

I think you truly have a great voice. But if you haven't had any training then it would be a good investment. I hope that, once again, these comments will be helpful and taken in the positive manner in which they're offered.

Blessings.