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Paul R. Martin
Voice Talent
Joined: 11 Mar 2007
Posts: 14
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 Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007, 18:54 (GMT) Post subject: P.R. Martin - New scratch demo based on feedback from ya'll |
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Well, after much hair pulling, crying, laboring, agonizing and a lot of other "ing" words....SFX:DRUM ROLL....Here it is.
I scratched together this new demo.
Thanks again for the feedback to all who posted. The imput was invaluable.
P.R.
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Bob Bergen
Voice Talent
Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Posts: 224
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| Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007, 19:23 (GMT) Post subject: Re: P.R. Martin - New scratch demo based on feedback from ya |
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| P.R. Martin wrote: | Well, after much hair pulling, crying, laboring, agonizing and a lot of other "ing" words....SFX:DRUM ROLL....Here it is.
I scratched together this new demo.
Thanks again for the feedback to all who posted. The imput was invaluable.
P.R. |
Hey bud!
You have such a nice brand. Very real, conversational, marketable.
When it comes to demo critiques, everyone has an opinion. You can't always change it with each opinion. And it can make you go nuts with the varying opinions out there. But since you asked, here's mine:
Lose the fade from spot to spot. You demo fades, the listener fades.
I didn't love the super hero spot. Doesn't bring anything different or interesting to the table.
Hudson pool is too charactery for a commercial demo. That kind of character is fine for a character demo. (a tad cliche, but OK) But on a commercial demo give em a minute of you.
That lady doing that long read on potato/bypass surgery needs to go. It's your demo, not hers. And you have no back and forth interaction with her, which would show off your timing/acting. That's really the reason to include a partner read, to show off how your acting skills with another actor.
The demo is also too long. The good news is you have so much good stuff you have room to cut. A minute is standard. and frankly most don't listen past 10 seconds.
Overall, I really like your read/style. With some edits I think you can have a really top notch demo!
BB
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Lance Blair
Voice Talent - Voice Seeker
Joined: 25 Apr 2005
Posts: 591
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| Posted: Wed Aug 08, 2007, 19:32 (GMT) Post subject: |
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Good advice and assessment, Bob! Really quick fades and crossfades are fine if it eliminates jarring cuts, but noticeable fades are a turn-off. It's 2007, the mind can take (and enjoys) quick edits!
Piece by piece:
1.) Good, the Hs could be smoother.
2.) I didn't get it at first, and "curb" was awkward. It made me press stop, and then I started over to give you a fair listen.
3.) Baby - good read, but the music is too loud and the voice recording is muddy. re-EQ?
4.) Superhero bit was okay.
5.) No interest - you aren't a "loser" voice, even though you can do it.
6.) Good, but it could be shorter with the copy tightened up a bit, and yes it's charactery.
7.) Don't use the potato bit. If there's one thing you should cut it's this.
8.) Charlie Brown - make this the #2 piece. Maybe even lead with it.
9.) Breath? I liked this, but it might not make sense if you cut the lighter-hearted pieces out and don't replace them with better lighted-hearted ones.
I like your voice, and I can see your demo getting better and better. Good luck.
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