Sure.. I'd like to know

Jamie Moore · Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008, 14:19 (GMT) Post subject: Sure.. I'd like to know

What people think... so I'll give it a whirl. This is my general demo, I use it a lot and I would like to know what my contemporaries think, so if you don't mind... have a listen and give me the word.
Thanks
Jamie

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008, 15:47 (GMT) Post subject:

A few very quick impressions:

First off I'd lose the slate at the beginning. It wastes time. You've only got :08 or so to keep their attention. My favorite clip is the Rich's mattress sale...that's a really good clean sound. Nice. Maybe move it up to first position when you have a chance...only because that's pretty marketable. You've got a nice range. Your needle man voice is funny. While I know this is a general, combined genre demo, the characters at the end seem to make the demo overall peter out...lose focus. If you're going to do that, really make it "bang". I'd lose the "crikey". Your Australian isn't very good. I think overall you could shorten a few clips and tighten it up.

Scott Pollak · Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008, 23:04 (GMT) Post subject:

Yup, lose the slate. Time-wasting and not very professional.

Split this up into separate demos. Put the character voices on a separate 'reel' and keep this one as purely narrative.

Lose the fades between the bytes! No one does this nowdays. Make 'em jump from bit to bit to bit.

Quick analysis of the bytes:
- opening verizon piece is very weak. The music has way more punch than your delivery. I'd deep-six this one.
- Knitting show: move it to a character voice demo
- Mattress sale: Your best and where you're most comfortable. You need more stuff like this on here. Not all the same pacing and feel and energy level, mind you, but in your 'sweet spot'.
- Move Charles Worthington III to a character reel
- Nutcracker: good. Right up there with the Mattress sale although if it was me and I had access to the master audio file I'd edit out the sfx of the nuts being cracked. I've listened three times and it sounds like the snorts that Ernestine the telephone operator (Lily Tomlin) used to use in her skits.
- Ga Lottery: not too bad. Could work on either reel. I'd consider having it on both.
- "Sweaters!" - move to a character demo
... and yes, the closing Crikey piece is pretty weak. I'd probably lose it.

As it is, your demo is okay but it just didn't jump out and grab me. It's kind of an innocuously inoffensive mix of nothing particularly special. Kind of like the audio equivalent of beef stew. It's okay, and there's a lot floating around in it, but I'm wanting a T-bone and lobster, not stew. Hit the listener with a demo where they'll go "wowwwwwwww!"