My latest demo

Marilyn Taylor · Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008, 20:22 (GMT) Post subject: My latest demo

Back to the drawing board..

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Thu Jan 24, 2008, 20:43 (GMT) Post subject:

It's well-constructed, in my opinion. You have a calming and warm voice.

The only thing that jarred me was a too precise enunciation on ""heart is"... you separated the two words too much, and made a warm phrase sound a tad off-putting. I know that sounds nit-picky, but it really stood out to me.

Marilyn Taylor · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008, 17:10 (GMT) Post subject:

Thanks Melba, appreciate the input Very Happy

Deby Cedars · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008, 17:52 (GMT) Post subject:

The music on each spot was at a surprisingly low volume. Letting the listener know that each spot was done in the same studio.

Marilyn Taylor · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008, 17:54 (GMT) Post subject:

great observation deby, I can fix that! Very Happy

Scott Pollak · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008, 19:54 (GMT) Post subject:

Marilyn,

I'll have to admit, I've been staying away from offering a critique here for a while because I wasn't comfortable offering it. But here goes...

I think you can do better than this.
For starters, everything sounds really, really muffled. Nothing is crisp here; it's like it's all run thru a high-end filter.

Next; I don't hear much versatility. The few spots tend to sound all alike in terms of energy level and delivery style and mood.

In terms of your delivery, it's sounding forced to me. Especially the first two spots. The valentine's spot has a phony sort of sultry-ness to it, in my opinion. Your strongest spot is by far the Soldiers spot. You're just being yourself and it comes thru as comfortable, real, genuine. THIS is the Marilyn I've come to know and love here. Then you go into a very, very flat: "Smile..." spot. I heard no smile, nor any energy. And ditto on the over-enunciation of 'where the heartTTT is..." Deby was right about the very low music beds too.

You're good. I've heard it before in many of your posts. But this demo doesn't work for you.

You need to find stronger pieces that show two things:
- the areas you're really comfortable in, such as the soldier piece, and NOT areas you're forcing, like the valentine's piece
- range. As mentioned already, all I hear here is one speed, one style, one mood

Next: get a pro to produce your demo. This one simply isn't mixed well at all and ends abruptly.

Again, y'know I love ya, I think you're very talented and can compete. But don't use this demo to do it.

Marilyn Taylor · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008, 20:20 (GMT) Post subject:

Scott, you have such a wonderful way of critiquing...the thing sucked yet I feel flattered.. Very Happy

I know I need someone to produce a demo but don't know anyone...any suggestions?
I really thought this showed variety...sultry...proud...homey...I guess I was wrong...What I hear you saying is the 'energy' is the same...I think I understand.... Confused

Thanks so much for your detailed critique..I really value it and am anxious to make some changes...you're a gem!

Deby Cedars · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008, 20:28 (GMT) Post subject:

The soldier spot was the best! That was for sure. You were being honest and the music had some patriotic glow to it.

I actually thought the Diabetes was the worst. It was almost like you were doing a patronizing character voice.

Scott Pollak · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008, 20:51 (GMT) Post subject:

Thanks, Marilyn. I really appreciate the way you're receiving my opinion, and bear in mind that's all it is: one person's viewpoint.

As far as production, there are a number of outstanding producers on these forums. Colin Campbell has produced a number of stellar demos and he's quite reasonably priced.

As far as variety, I simply didn't hear it, and let me emphasize again that there were several spots on there that just didn't sound real. For whatever reason I really didn't like the opening two spots. They sounded so forced and un-you.

At the risk of sounding pompous, and I really don't want it to come across that way, go give a listen to the first demo on my site here, my 'warm, rich, real and natural' demo. While the spots are more or less in the same vein; that is, low-key, there is just enough variation in subject matter, delivery speed, music, etc, that they don't all sound like one big, long, spot. Maybe that'll help give you a little idea of what I wanted to hear on yours.

Marilyn Taylor · Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2008, 21:11 (GMT) Post subject:

Your not pompous Scott..you're good! I gave er a listen..in fact all of them...very very nice...I think I get what you're saying. I'm going to study yours and a couple of female VO pros and get help putting together a demo that'll REALLY rock!
Thanks again for the help, Have a great weekend Very Happy

Bob Bergen

Chris Clementson · **Voice Seeker** Joined: 14 Jan 2008 Posts: 216

Marilyn -

I looked at your demo with Goldwave, an audio editing program. You need to learn to use the "normalize" or "maximize volume" function on your editing software. It would help if each track were normalized individually before butting them together. This will help the consistency of the levels of your tracks. The first track was entirely too low.

Marilyn Taylor · Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008, 14:39 (GMT) Post subject:

Thanks Chris, I appreciate the advise...I need to go back to the drawing board on this one... Very Happy

Colin Campbell · Posted: Sun Jan 27, 2008, 14:47 (GMT) Post subject: