Hi, I'd love some feedback on my demo

Bren Hill

Thanks everyone, have a great weekend!

Robert Jadah · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008, 00:47 (GMT) Post subject:

You've got it simmering there, Bren: a nice, perky, sweet, lively delivery.

Somehow, though, I feel your production people let you down. There was just something distracting, annoying (and a trifle loud?) about your music beds. The bits also sounded too similar in terms of recording and production: a dead giveaway that they're not real spots.
I'd love to hear you in full flight. As I mentioned, you have a refreshingly serious pixie style.
The second spot was playfully magical (and I'd lead off with it) and you closed strongly. In between, I'd suggest at least one big variation: a charity appeal or other heartfelt, non-standard read.

In short: it was good. Only. I hear no excuse for it not being great.

Voice On!

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008, 00:55 (GMT) Post subject:

BT does produce good demos. You've got the very "in" young read -- sweet with just a hint of edge to it. Very nice. But I have to say...linking to your website as I listened and seeing how offbeat your sense of humor is, I kept hoping to hear something infused with the personality I saw there. Didn't quite happen. Maybe you're just a little too neatly "branded". Or maybe in LA you must fit in one slot in :03 or less. Don't know. It's a solid demo.

And I agree. Chicago is the best city in the world. Wink

Robert Jadah · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008, 02:13 (GMT) Post subject:

OOPS...I'm in deep now, Melba.
BT is a part of my monthly expenditures. Then I go and dis them like that before checking Bren's site.

Now I'm torn between saying:
A) Sorry. The Moosehead kicked in. That's the best demo I've heard in a long, long, long time. Hearty congratulations to all the coaching and production that brought your raw, untrained ability to such a pinnacle. It's really quite awe-inspiring. I take back everything I said previosuly.
Or,
B) Anybody have other coaching suggestions?
Or
C) Bren; those people have made way more money in VO than I have. Keep that in mind.

What to do? What to do?

Quandary On!

Melba Sibrel · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008, 02:26 (GMT) Post subject:

Robert --

As long as your check clears, say whatever the hell you want!

Lance Blair · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008, 15:52 (GMT) Post subject:

I wasn't thrilled with the bed, and that was before reading the above comments.

As for the voice...Bravo! Smile

Philip Banks · Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2008, 16:37 (GMT) Post subject:

The voice is good. The demo is not much of anything really, it starts and stops. The first 3 seconds of a demo are your attention getter and the remaining 27 seconds close the sale. Within that 30 seconds segment you need to you the big, you the small, you the average and you the different.

Think of your demo as a kiss. Your kiss needs to be unforgettable.

Sid Whatley · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008, 00:45 (GMT) Post subject:

Robert Jadah · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008, 02:01 (GMT) Post subject:

Nope, not at all, Sid. My bad. Only ocelots, some owls, and Cindy Crawford need real spots.

But a demo should ideally carry some different ambiances and recording sounds so that they sound like the real world.
Otherwise, it almost screams out, "Hey, I was recorded in four hours at a demo house.
I've never done anything else worth including."

It also becomes the demo equivalent of elevator music: sanitized, predictable, lifeless.

Your sizzling demo, Sid, switches tonality about seven times.

Real spots? No. Real-spot-sounding? Yes.

Voice On!

Sid Whatley · Posted: Sun Jan 06, 2008, 02:16 (GMT) Post subject:

I agree. The reason I said that is because I'm putting together my first "Narrative" demo and I've never read a narrative script worth presenting so far. So I'm having to produce it myself and I'm going to use the input I've been reading here. Change a little here, change a little there......etc. It certainly makes sense.