My latest....

Colin Campbell · Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007, 08:50 (GMT) Post subject: My latest....

...OK, it seems that this is a thread for the up-and-comers and no one wants to critique a demo from an "old timer" but I need your help. I've been working on this for quite a while and in fact posted the first draft at Julie's forum for fear that I would be soundly ignored here.

This is my second draft of "all purpose-2008..." the first of what I hope to be many new demos for 2008...

Bill Campbell · Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007, 12:42 (GMT) Post subject:

When I listen to a demo, I listen for the overall tone or vibe rather than the small details.

I like it. You have a style and pitch that is different than most.
I hear a little of that FRONTLINE narrator guy sound (good).
I think you have a BMW/Mercedes style. Why not recreate a clip
of a BMW read in your demo.

I would like to hear a joyful or fun read in the first two or three clips. Most of the clips are down and low in your register.

Just a little tweaking to show your full range.

As with everyone, the FIRST FIVE SECONDS are critical. Make sure it's the best you've ever sounded!

Cameron Thomas · Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007, 13:38 (GMT) Post subject:

Far be it for me to critique an old pro but could I offer a couple of minor comments?

The IRS spot, when you said "it may be", it sounded like "maybe"--I just don't think it should've caught my ear like that.

Also, the brief kids meal and water/life parts were too brief--it didn't flow too well. I didn't know if you wanted to "bookend" those around a longer clip. (Then again, I have no idea how to arrange these things)

Personally, I would like to have heard one upbeat/lighthearted spot--I dunno, maybe the ubiqitous car spot like the V123 Auto.

All in all, I liked it--it continued to showcase your stout rumbliness.

My Latest Cheers,
Cameron

Deby Cedars · Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007, 21:19 (GMT) Post subject:

I think some of your real men of genius singing would be upbeat but down. LOL Seriously you don't get anymore light hearted than that. I hated the fact that the background noise was so loud in the first spot I could barely hear your voice......Maybe some hall would be good too.

Colin Campbell · Posted: Sun Dec 30, 2007, 22:00 (GMT) Post subject:

Thanks guys.

Deby.. "hall?" You lost me there.

Cameron... so funny that you called out the "may be" in IRS because I thought that line was about the best delivered on the thing.

Well... I'm going back in to it and adding something goofy. It's just not my comfort zone but I have to spice it up.

Oh... the opening piece is one of my favorites but apparently I like it better than everyone else.

Thank you everyone!

EDIT: OK... here's the redo...

Deby Cedars · Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007, 01:36 (GMT) Post subject:

Much better! I love the mission control thing too. ( I was talking about Hal but the mission control thing works)

Colin Campbell · Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007, 03:30 (GMT) Post subject:

Thanks Deby! Incorporated the "Hal." You guys don't know how much you are helping me.

Dave DeAndrea · Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007, 04:13 (GMT) Post subject:

Colin-

You're a talent that I deeply respect. I've got some time on my hands tonight (obviously) and reworked it a little... keeping the cuts I really liked and finding a couple of other gems that weren't on your original but (I think) show a little diversity. If it helps, great*. If not, hopefully no harm done.

-Dave DeAndrea

* That'll be $50. hüpfend lachen

Just kidding!

Colin Campbell · Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007, 04:56 (GMT) Post subject:

OK, Dave... that's just a little freaky. You added two pieces that were jobs I landed. The funky "beat you sensless" and "Triumph." I am not crazy about either of them. What do I know?

Dave DeAndrea · Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007, 05:00 (GMT) Post subject:

Colin-

I loved your "Dharma" treatment on the "beat you senseless" cut and I love the almost over the top delivery on the triumph spot. I thought they added a little levity without crossing over into the "character" zone.

You rock!

-Dave DeAndrea

Scott Pollak · Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007, 05:11 (GMT) Post subject:

Colin,

I haven't had the opportunity to listen and critique until now and let me tell you that overall I'm impressed. You've come a long way, baby, in the year or so I've heard you posting your stuff on this board. If I had to nit pick, I COULD find a few nits here and there, but nothing major. I like the opening piece a lot. It's a good showcase for your strongest 'zone', if you will, smooth and rich. I like the furniture spot following it to vary the mood and style. Overall production quality is superb (well duh!). I listened twice and the ONE spot that just didn't do it for me was the "When you enter the building...." bit. Not sure why. Maybe because of the EQ or perhaps because (to me) it's really not funny, but it's trying to be. I also wasn't wild about the "Win with Triumph" spot (okay, so that's TWO spots I'm not wild about). It's not a strong delivery, it's so short that it comes and goes before you can absorb it, and it just seems so mediocre compared to your other bits on here. I'd consider just losing that one. And the ending sort of comes and goes quickly, the "Five years in the making" bit. I'd end with something stronger.

But again, these are nits. This is a good demo and represents you well.

Edited to add: Funny, I hadn't read either yours or Dave's post above mine until AFTER I wrote my critique. Interesting about our views on the Triumph and Beat you Senseless spots. I'd lose both of them.

Colin Campbell · Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007, 05:23 (GMT) Post subject:

Yeah... Scott... Dave added "beat you sensless" and "Triumph." While those were jobs I'd won, as I said above, I am not crazy about them. A lesson of some sort. The JD spot I thought was really one of my best but I didn't win the job. The ones I'd won that Dave decided to add in, I thought were not great.

This is really important to me, that you guys would consider my efforts so carefully. Sort of a New Year's resolution to come up with some new killer demos. For this project, I am leaning on version 2 so far.

OK... ditching the last cut "premeir artisans" and replacing it with more of a character read... version 04... (Thanks Scott.)

Lucas Nugent · Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2007, 11:32 (GMT) Post subject:

Colin, what compression do you run on your voice?

Just seems a little "snappy", like the attack is up too high or something.

Other than that, good order of pieces, good performance, good stuff!

Colin Campbell · Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008, 18:01 (GMT) Post subject:

Well... on the raw voice recording it's a Symetrix 528e which has no "attack" adjustment, only threshold and ratio. You might be hearing the expander (gate) on the tail end. Most of those spots also had some post compression provided by Adobe Audition. I'll have to look at my preset to see what the attack time is. I generally get a lot of compliments on my "sound" but for someone who knows what "attack" means it is certainly subject to a higher level of scrutiny.

Deby Cedars · Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2008, 18:46 (GMT) Post subject:

I played with the attack and compression without Roger on a song once and things started crackle and pop like one of my parents old 45 records.

I didn't notice it until I messed with the compression, but Roger sayed it was from putting reverb on too many tracks and it was taxing the computer.

Roger set up a template. How does my "attack" sound lately?