My latest....

Sid Whatley · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008, 22:03 (GMT) Post subject:

Also remember this Colin....you don't have to feature the entire script for each demo section. You can narrow it down to 2 or 3 quick lines. It's all for "demonstration". You know that anyway.

Colin Campbell · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008, 22:09 (GMT) Post subject:

Yep, I definately know that. I've got a about four dozen demos for myself and others under my belt in the past year. I even have a repeat customer that must be a coach or something because she keeps coming back over and over to do demos for other people.

One I did for someone got them an LA agent.

I know the form. It's just harder to do you own... when you are trying to decide on the copy that you yourself fit best.

That's why this thread has been so valuable.

The true coaches don't proclaim themselves as such. Thanks guys.

Lee Kanne · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008, 22:15 (GMT) Post subject:

when I think of dry and sarcastic I think of Dave Pasquesi

when I hear a voice that screams of "authority, wisdom, experience, etc."...it's hard for me to squeeze "dry and sarcastic' out of that....but then, there are exceptions to everything....

Sid Whatley · Posted: Thu Jan 03, 2008, 22:33 (GMT) Post subject:

Hey Colin.....I sent you a track and another piece of copy via your private e-mail. I have it on my demo but have never liked it. It might fit what we're talking about.

Colin Campbell · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 19:43 (GMT) Post subject:

OK.... as a result of all your comments and suggestions and with MUCH GRATTITUDE to Mr Whatley who has been INCREDIBLY helpful in assisting me to find a "brand" as Mr. Bergen so eliquently points out is the key to success, and as always with a huge debt of grattitude to Cira...

Here's "New Attitude..."

Sid Whatley · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 20:27 (GMT) Post subject:

First impression. First part is B.S. Start with the Charmin Ultra. Change the music on the Manwich spot. Something just the opposite of your delivery....maybe. I'll listen more later. I'm curious to some comments from a few seasoned critics.

Much much better but it's not "screaming" your print in the first 5secs. Important!

Colin Campbell · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 20:33 (GMT) Post subject:

OK.... V2...

Sid Whatley · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 21:00 (GMT) Post subject:

Not being a "mulit-tasker" (or having to be) I have to think about things I see and hear for a while. I did that as I opened my first sunday afternoon beer and watching the playoffs. This "dry delivery" we're talking about is something I would love to be able to do...but just can't. Your voice has the perfect tone for it and I firmly believe it's ONE demo you should feature. It may be your featured demo. Straight to the point without any funny or entertaining bits.

I was running some of your deliverys thur my mind and thought "Maybe if he either thought or said the word DAMMIT at the end of each ad". That's probably what I would do if I were attempting the "dry" read. Think about that and see if it makes a difference.

One more thing. Someone brought this up before (Robert?). Most of the spots sound like YOU produced them and not from different production houses. Many of those scripts are for TV so think about all kinds of stuff that might be going on visually. SFX....kids, water, cars, laughter........etc. It doesn't really matter. The mind hears what it wants to SEE.

Off the cuff comments.

Sid Whatley · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 21:03 (GMT) Post subject:

OK.....getting there for sure!! I was posting my last while you were posting your last but I think the same comments apply. Think about the SFX I mentioned. It makes it more "real".

Gotta go watch The Cowboys kick The Giants ASS!!!

Colin Campbell · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 21:39 (GMT) Post subject:

How about Peyton's loss?

OK... SFX... man you keep me hoppin'

V3...

Connie Terwilliger · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 22:44 (GMT) Post subject:

Late to the party...

You speak in the back of your throat and there is a natural edgy sound to it, but even with the "dry" attitude you are going for here - I wanted the facial tissue spot to be less "harsh." I heard a pop on the "t" on the 2nd tissue. And on the last "facial tissue" shouldn't the emphasis be on facial and not on tissue?

There seemed to be a balance issue with the man/woman spot - she is a bit "hotter."

Overall, everything had the same general pace and proximity. Even within this particular "sound" it feels like there could/should be a bit more variety.

I loved the Tequila spot.

Colin Campbell · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 22:51 (GMT) Post subject:

I don't hear the popped 't."

On the man/woman, the "skeptic" is on the phone.

I tend to agree on the "facial tissue" emphasis question but as I reach for this "dry" thing, it throws my normal instinct on emphasis out the window.

Thant being said. I'll redo the Charmin and try again.

Thanks for the compliment on Tequilla.

I'll get it yet.

Sid Whatley · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 23:12 (GMT) Post subject:

Now....shorten all spots. Charmin after "ULTRA" and Manwich after "SAUCES". That's enough of each. 60sec demo with at least 6 10sec (hopefully more) examples. 2 or 3 lines each.

Good points Connie but save the "variety" for later in the demo OR for another completly different demo....say a "Humor" or "Real Person" which I hate but is so damn popular.

Hit em FAST.....and move on.

Sid Whatley · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 23:27 (GMT) Post subject:

I forgot something. Take all the effects off you voice on the Manwich spot. Up front, clear and dry. It didn't come off with the reverb/echo. What about (sfx) people talking and shopping in the isle or the sounds of electronic cash resgisters.....things like that. Anything to give the spot "tv realism". You are a "producer" Colin.
So what if you didn't do the original spot.....you could have. Just never try and reproduce an ad everybody hears 10times a day like Toyota Tundra (I want that one!) or Geico, or.....you get the idea.

Colin Campbell · Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2008, 23:45 (GMT) Post subject:

Man... "dance Colin dance."

V4...