Advice? Constructive Criticism?

David Stevenson

Hey folks -

I've been a free member for a good while, but haven't really strolled around the forums much. I love doing voice overs (mainly animation/videogames - where I can be a character), but haven't done a lot of projects.

1st - Could I get some constructive criticism on my demo? I've been told that it's too fast paced - which I can definitely see. I most likely need to re-edit, maybe redo some voices - but I'd like to do a lot of work all at once rather than little snippets for a long time. Also - any advice for my profile is appreciated, too. My profile

2nd - I get the leads, but obviously can't respond since I'm a free member. Is it worth it to become a premium member? Is the competition crazy? The folks on the forum seem cool - but I'm in Nashville working in the music biz, and I think I can only be around so much before I can't take it!

Thanks!!
-David

Robert Jadah · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007, 17:07 (GMT) Post subject:

Welcome to the barbecue, David: you post em, we'll roast 'em.

There's some nice snippets on your demo, but methinks it goes on way too long. The similar high-pitch, high-energy voices get very annoying after a while. You'd be very well served by reading Savvy posts by Bob Bergen, Rajiv Hassan, and Joe J. Thomas, and listening to their character demos.

Mr. Bergen especially serves up some excellent advice for creating and sustaining characters. To my ears, yours were more impulsive outbursts; albeit strong impulsive outbursts.

I'd suggest a gentler, more fluid, shorter demo which establishes some personalities and engages the listener. Your evil villains probably have to go, and certainly the amateur cackle/cough at the end has no place in a professional calling card.

As to the membership, there are very few leads posted for the kind of thing you like to do. Voice-site-wise, I think you'd be equally successful in waiting for private leads off a strong demo.

It's a long, rocky, winding road. Twenty thousand voices do what you can do. You simply must find something that yells, "DAVID STEVENSON DOES IT BETTER!"

I wish you perseverance and luck.

Voice On!

Jacob Keebler · Posted: Mon Aug 20, 2007, 19:23 (GMT) Post subject:

Feel free to argue with me on this one but I thought the demo was a little redundant. Example: The "loking for a book guy" seems to sound a lot like the first "video game" guy. I do hear a subtelty here but I'm not sure a voice seeker would hear it at first listen - which may be all you're going to get. My suggestion is to go ahead and lose that first video game guy (esp. since he comes back later in the tape) and this will help shorten your demo which at almost two minutes is a bit on the long side.
Robert, would you agree with this?
Also, IMO that wheeze/cackle/cough is better left for your blooper reel. Personally I found it a little on the icky side.
Cheers,
-J

Lance Blair · Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2007, 03:33 (GMT) Post subject:

I like quite a bit:
1.) The calm voice for the Weeds
2.) The southern 'hope again' - but the script is a bit repetitive.
3.) Looking for a book
4.) The villain is pretty good.

I suppose I didn't like all of your high-tempo pieces. You can do a lot of interesting things with your voice, but the things closer to your normal speaking voice have a lot of their own character. Lose the bookends "Brother Bobby/Hysterical Coughing"

If you want to showcase intense hyperactivity, maybe pieces that show a transformation from calm to hyper would show off your range better than an excerpt that is jarringly full-throttle from the get-go.

Definitely get the demo just under a minute, and good luck!

Erik Sheppard · Posted: Wed Aug 22, 2007, 03:46 (GMT) Post subject:

David, you will get much more feedback if you upload your demo in the Critique My Demo forum.

David Stevenson · Posted: Thu Aug 23, 2007, 02:29 (GMT) Post subject:

Thanks for the responses!

Looks like I've got a bit of work to do to get my demo up to snuff. I pulled all of that from a video game (except the first and last clips - which were a "secret song" on a music cd), and most of the dialog was one liner conversations. I guess I probably need to do some fake copy and have longer characters before I can really move forward.

Once I get it done, I will upload it to the critique forum.

Thanks again!
-David